The Innovation of the Bowling Nation!

Its time to get excited peeps and peepesses! I am proud to bring you another phil first, being the ever so popular trend setter we all know and love. Get ready for a revolution that you can all be part of. We all love bowling, but I think it is time to re-think the game and boy have I just done that. I was on the Stong bowling team, but it is no longer about how many pins you knock down, its how you do it. First of all we started of with simple trickshots, behind the legs, bowling from further back and we built up into the craziest bowling ever. For example four people lined up and one person slid through all our legs releasing the ball; we got a strike with that one. We also did human limbo bowling, bowling on a chair, a swivel one, bowling whilst having a piggyback, bowling on the same lane as other people, criss cross ballroom bowling, trick shot pool bowling, bowling from 1 metre away, bowling backwards, bowling with a cap on the ball, human swing bowling, techno bowling and bowling upside down, no joke! Join the revolution. The trend spread down the lanes as more and more people became innovative with blindfold bowling and fireman carry bowling. Free your mind next time you are at a bowling alley. The alley is the tunnel of dreams. If I get the photos sent to me be sure to check them out and spread the craze. STONG BOWLING FOREVER!

It's Christmas, no wait thats still a few weeks away, then what's Santa Claus doing over there?

Last Sunday was the big Santa Claus parade held every year in Toronto for the past 101 years, yes thats almost as long as Canada has been around. Billed as one of the seasons premier attractions featuring 20, yes 20, of the worlds best clowns, and the big red jolly man himself. The parade was cold, but a traditional North American fare with big floats, golf carts, people dressed as peanuts, people dressed as post boxes, the list is endless. While sipping my hot chocolate I imagined how great it would be to relive those childhood days. After seeing santa, who spoke to the kids with the help of a tannoy system, I grabbed lunch at the Black Bull a charming pub on Queens Street West, before going clothes shopping. Yes, like many a man this fills me with dread, but I handled it well I felt and even found some stuff that fit me. The Scotsman had a more disturbing clothes experience when he bought a pair of pants and got a free rainbow spandex headband with it. Now that is weird! Also on the way home went to a mini XBOX 360 expo and got to play it. Not bad, but could have been better I feel. Well I'm off to write a paper, catch you later!

No, your kidding me, no you are, no you must be...woah that looks amazing!

Well last night night I was downtown in the big T dot once again and if you ever thought that the Philmeister (I figure if I keep using this expression the eighties are bound to come back at some point) was not connected then you be wrong. I'm talking exclusive night out, I am talking hidden bar, chandeliers, the works. I went to the Panorama and this is how cool it was. For a start we found ourselves in a shopping centre, an average one just like the Shires and we could not find this bar. Eventually we, we being an Englishman (me), the Scotsman, a German, two Swedes and a partridge in a pear tree, found our way onto the second floor. We walked down a long corridor with a bouncer at the end. I flashed him the swanky pink driving license, why is it pink? and he showed us to a lift. I stepped in and it was all mirrored, but get this it only had two buttons on, floor 2 and floor 51. 51 thats high! We zoomed up, ears popping and arrived at the top. Greeted by two lovely waitresses and a fine cocktail menu we settled down in the leather, yes leather, seats. They even had pillows. However, the best bit was the view, check out the photo above. I took that from the balcony. Click on the photo and make it bigger then gasp. It was amazing! In the other pic is the Scotsman and Cosi the German gal!

Eclectic Society!

The fun did not stop when the gig was all said and done. While walking home and missing every single subway entrance the Scotsman and I were approached by some, well...shady misfits is probably the best way to put it. I guess walking around downtown Toronto in a deserted area is not the wisest thing to do, but i live for danger. Anyhow the first of these strange people approached us along with his girlfriend. He looked me straight in the eye and asked me where the nearest strip joint was. My first reaction was probably not the wisest, I burst out laughing in his face. He was however being deadly serious. I then told him I had no idea. I mean do I look like someone who would frequent stripclubs...comments please people. I think I might be setting myself up for a fall there actually. Anyhow, he and his girlfriend, emphasis on girlfriend, meandered off. I wondered when his girlfriend first got into stripclubs. I mean I know that kind of things goes on from documentaries on channel 5. Personally I regard burlesque as an art, women's bodies are a beautiful thing and...I'm not sure where to go from here really. Girl Power!

Anyhow the stripping fans wandered off and we walked about ten metres, when I hear this voice, "Yo Homeboy." Yep this rapper with a bandanna on stared straight at me. I thought, hmm shall i play it cool, speak back with a little, hey man West side rocks, but what if he was from the East side. I just said hi trying to avoid the higher pitched helloooo I'm am known to do from time to time. Turns out he just wanted directions and I was happy to help except I didn't know where the place he mentioned was, so we politely parted our ways. I hope he got there alright!

Next up the Scotsman and I nearly got run over, not by stampeding Buffalo, this is Ontario not Alberta, but by a taxi. The traffic lights are odd here. There is no buttons to press and it was dark, however we got across okay, there was no papping of hooters. Then this dude with a hoody who was smoking something that I think was very suspect, shouted "what the hell are you doing?" randomly at us. I thought 'he must just be talking to himself and muttering as he goes along, I'll just smile' and sure enough he...well, he staggered more than walked down the street. Another potentially dodgy situation handled well I felt.

Now this final guy, I told you there must have been something strange in the air that night, well he was actually very helpful and he seemed charming. A little odd, but charming. Amazed by the cool big buildings, and they are big and amazing, we stopped at the side of the road to look at one that particularly caught our eye. This man then approached us, he was only little. "Thats the insurance building," he said, a couple of times. We thanked the man for this snippet of information and continued on our way. "You need a clean debt record to get in there, took me three months," we then heard from behind us. So we stopped and walked back to the man to once again thank him before discussing the merits of home insurance. You couldn't make this stuff up. Finally we found the subway after about an hour and all was well again! Huzzah!

Have you ever seen a monkey shiver?

Coincidently while writing this it has just started snowing outside for the first time. Flippin fantastic! After the curry I made my way to Lee's Palace, a famed cult music venue on Bloor. I had tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys, gigging it up! If you have not heard of the Arctic Monkeys the were number 1 for 2 weeks in the UK before Westlife knocked them off the top spot, they are that good lol! All the best songs get to number 1, crazy frog anyone! I have to say I was pleasantly surprise, they had a really unique sound and were from Yorkshire. Although for some reason some drunk crazy guy kept asking them to play something Jamaican! I have no idea what that's about! The lead singer is apparently only 19, just legal over here then!

Oooo Mr Bond...

Last Monday was another day, another crazy adventure! I found myself in downtown Toronto with the Scotsman (thats Joe, but I feel this new name sounds edgier). After getting off the subway, we meandered through Chinatown and went to Kensington Market. You could buy all kinds of crazy stuff from whole pigs to the obligatory black fungus; yes that is its real name. Eventually we found ourself on Bloor, a very nice part of time, populated by shops selling fine China and diamonds from Cartier. The Scotsman and I decided that it was time for food, so after wandering up and down the strip, we settled on the Thai Basil. The restaurant was really nice inside and was designed in a traditional Japanese style except it had sliding glass as opposed to paper doors. I myself ordered a Thai green curry drizzled in coconut and not just a martini, but a lychitini. Thats right folks, a martini made with lychee juice. Phenomenal! We also grabbed a glass of lemongrass juice, which is supposed to cure a bad mood!

Where are the horses?

Last night I believe I was grossly misled. I was invited to watch a game of water polo. I thought great, never seen water polo before, this will be fun! It was York versus MacMaster. Imagine my disappointment when I realised water polo does not involve swimming horses. I have to say I shed a small tear, I was gutted. Hopefully a York win would raise my spirits though, so the game started, the ball bounced, goals were scored, cheers were sang and then we lost! 5-1.