A little piece of Scotland

I'm fresh off a phenomenal birthday party for one of my best canadian mateys, Val, which involved me and Joe on stage doing 'Hey Jude' on karaoke. It failed to compare however to Val's tremendous rendition of hit me baby one more time, which involved costumes, dodgy looks from the karaoke oraganiser and her brother rocking out (I believe that is the technical term).

Last night it was the penultimate day before Joes 21st, so in time honoured fashion we took in a Scottish Gig. We saw Belle and Sebastien who were actually really good. The lead singer looked like a mime artist, but heck you can't have everything. It was down at the Docks, which sounds shady and underground. Last time I was there I was frisked. This time I escaped being felt up and managed to take in a great concert. Beer prices in Canada lead a lot to be desired however. 7 dollars for a can of Keiths, what is the world coming too. That was pricier than a G and T, my tipple of choice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!

Celebrity entrails

Very soon I'm sure to become a celebrity in Canada. I have now been on Canadian TV twice, most recently appearing in a trailer for the Royal Canadian Air Farce - the premier satirical comedy show on CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). I had to pretend I was talking to an uber happy Canadian TV presenter before he turned round and spoke to the world wide audience of around 10 million. Check out photos of the studio above.

So thats was the celebrity, here is the entrails - I went to see Body Worlds 2 at the Ontario Science Centre. It was created by that guy who plastinated dead people and turned them into works of art. It was fascinating stuff, but a little creepy. They even had a dead person fencing!

Finally, I was shown this patriotic American Film in the only OmniMax cinema in Ontario. I feel it did not affect me in any way. By the way, have any of you considered joining the US Air Force, its a great opportunity? You get to blow stuff up like tanks and such.

The world is a funny old place!

QUICK FENCING UPDATE:

I have been given a new nickname. Many of you know me as the Penguin Master, many of you refuse to call me that because you believe it is embarassing. Fair dos, but it costs you when birthdays and christmas come around. However, at fencing I am now known as the Ripper for my unorthodox new stance, which looks darn cool. It also gives me the excuse to say when I win "You've been ripped."

INJURY UPDATE:

While ripping I hurt my thumb and made one of my fingers numb for several days. My thumb was bleeding from under the nail. Nasty stuff, but I battled through the injury and won the bout.

LIFE UPDATE:

Today I had a lecture in one of my courses by a cross dresser. Yes you heard that right, will the hilarity of this place never end. He is a Canadian Eddie Izzard and a pretty good lecturer at that. Its not every day you can say something like that.

GRADE UPDATE:

In the style of Ryan I will be bragging slightly via the internet. 94% in my take home exam for philosophy. WOOHOO!!!

Ice Ice Baby dun dun dun dur dur dur

I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome Patrick, a brand new exchange student to the posse, he studies in England, originally from Germany and lives in Brussels. Continental or what. So last weekend we has two little jauntys. The first involved Republik, a rock club in downtown Toronto. Joe, Patrick and me were meeting some other dudes inside the club so we get in. We then go to the coat check, bare in mind its cold and snowy out so we are wearing big coats.

"Sorry guys the coat check is full"

translates into:
You are going to have to walk around in a crowded rock club with Toronto's so called cool crowd carrying your ridiculously oversized coats under your arm and looking like prize plonkers!

So we enter looking like prize plonkers as expected and set up base during a system of a down song by the bar. Boy do they know how to make barmaids in Canada. They are very tall, very hot, but in a stripper sort of way and they wear very and I mean VERY revealing clothes. So we stood by the bar for the while taking in the ambiance of the place. I then went to get the first round in and who should serve me, but the hottest and tallest bar maid there was. When giving me my drinks she winked at me provocatively. I decided not to tip and therefore fall for her clever flirty game. 1-0 I thought as I walked away with the beers triumphantly. Besides the beers were pricey despite being paid for in canadian dollars.

Two hours later we met up with the other 3 people we were originally supposed to hang with. One was German (Cosi from the Christmas holiday), one was Canadian (Dianna who last year went on exchange to Stoke) and the other was tanned (I forget his name) more than David Dickinson himself. He was a bloke as well. The two girls were great dancers although Joe, Patrick and I did a mean shake rattle and roll and may have shown them up.

The night ended when they decided they would make there own way home and Joe, Pat and me wandered off into the moonlight, and then into a taxi and then back into Stong for a kip.

The following night me, Joe and Patrick decided we would hit the town again. This time we headed for the C lounge, a popular bustling night spot. Inside the place was made entirely of ice. Not the toilets of course, that would be silly. However, the toilets were very confusing as they had stand ups in stalls and it wasn;t clearly labelled and there was some bloke touching up girls' make up. It was all very odd. The ice lounge however was great, they even gave you complimentary coats when you go in, however, it did turn me into a walking Smirnoff Ice advert. It was warm nonetheless. Inside the centrepiece was none other than an ice penguin. It was really really cool, much like that scene from Die Another Day, not the best Bond film by any means, but a passable effort. Check out the camera hi-jinks we got up to in there when let loose with a camera. On the way home Joe sang songs by Snoop Dogg (ironically of course) and we witnessed two fights.